Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I Am No Super Woman...

So, it's been 4 months since I've blogged.  Frankly it's been about that long since I've read any of my favorite blogs.  My last blog was entitled "My Summer To Do List" and I am happy to report I accomplished at least half of those items.  As an overachiever, I expected to do them all and have a month to lay on the couch to recover.  But, really Kalah?  Come on...  I am no super woman!!!

I love reading blogs of fellow mothers who struggle with the same life issues as I do: keeping my large family happily fed and well educated, keeping our quaint home clean and ORGANIZED, and how to put a whole lot of enjoyment into my busy life.   I have a full time job, that I have been blessed to do from the comfort of my home for eleven years; with the exception of about 10-12 hours each week.  We homeschool our 6 children (4 are actively in school while 2 are testing the school waters and still being Momma's babies). I have a small Etsy store I stock from my auction finds and I sell on eBay all in efforts to get out of debt faster...  $38,000 down $249,000 to go!!!  I have tried to be wonder woman and for some reason have felt on the verge of falling apart.  (I even went to the doctor with complaints of what I feel as severe memory issues but I forgot to go to the follow up appointment - true story).

Besides the usual that life delivers us each day, my elderly father has had quite an action packed 4 years.  My mother died 5 years ago (I'll blog about that on October 12) and since she has been gone my dad has occupied his lonely days with scams.  He has turned into a different man, one that has caused a great deal of injury to his family.  You can never know the stress this causes your life until you live it.  Banks calling to warn/complain of his erratic financial behavior, local business owners calling to question his erratic behavior, postal officials calling to advise the legalities of this behavior, and on, and on, and on.  These things do not happen on days when I had time to spare, mind you.  And I must be honest, my equally busy and stressed-out sister in Wisconsin has shared this heavy burden with me.  Deann and I would talk every morning at 8:30 (no joke as I write this Deann is calling me) hahaha.  Anyway we share our daily struggles and commiserate over our dad who behaves like an obnoxious 14 year old who WILL NOT listen to REASON!   This situation alone makes my heart race and my breathing becomes shallow.

I have wanted to be an author since I was a young girl and I loved the idea of blogging ever since my sister-in-law began blogging when they moved to Singapore several years ago - they are now heading to Dubai.  I thought that would be a great avenue for me to get back into writing.  Frankly I have struggled with what to blog about.  Some women blog about their perfect lives, others blog about their struggles and others about the passions of their lives.  But what do I want of Darling Mother Dear?  I am happily married and love my children from the deepest depths of my heart but my life is not perfect.  I have struggles but where do I begin???  And I have passions, but they are varied and unrelated...

I have been trying to decide whether to step it up or turn in my blog keys (figuratively speaking of course).  I mostly do it for me, not for any world wide fame and glory.  But even I have frustrated me with the lack of blog entries.  And to those three people who read my blog, my sweet husband, My Heart Exults and Aunt Katie (when I print the pages and mail them to her) I am sorry to have left the blog world wide open for 4 months.  I will certainly try to do better.  Pray for me Dear Friends!  I'm not ready to quit just yet...